heh, from slash dot

[Bunty]

http://games.slashdot.org/games/08/12/15/0649222.shtml

How MMOs should be viewed (Score:5, Funny)
by Anonymous Coward on Monday December 15, @03:04AM (#26117433)

You're in a giant wheel inside a cage. You paid $50 for the wheel, and it costs you $15 a month to rent the cage it's in.

Alongside you are other wheels inside other cages, and attached to each wheel is a pulley system which connects to a hook, dangling a bucket of food. You run forward and the pulley moves and the bucket drops, and you reach inside and grab some food and eat it. But now the bucket is lighter, and so it swings back up on the arm it's attached to, and it's a bit higher than it was before.

You just ate, but since you're running so much in this wheel, you're hungry too, so you run a bit faster and sure enough the pulley turns and eventually the bucket comes back down and you eat some food. You feel a bit stronger now.

Hey, that guy in the wheel next to you has already eaten three times. You'd better run faster to keep up. There... now you're not hungry any more. But again, all that running to get the food has made you hungry again. And that bucket is higher now, almost out of reach. You'd better run faster to get it down here so you can eat again.

Maybe some day you can pay for a new wheel that faces a different direction. That would be AWESOME.

P.S. Also there's some pictures of elves or something on the wall in front of you. Maybe space.

 

[Swither]

lol, too true.

 

[Chick]

i <3 this:

The Raid-

You raid with these people. You work with these people. These people are closer than your family. You should worry.

The GM- He�s sacrificed his family, friends, and probably a couple of jobs to drag you through new content. When the guild isn�t performing, these decisions are in question. Prone to shooting sprees, forum flame wars, and the rapid advancement/gearing of whatever toon the guild �needs�. If you can keep your mouth shut, he�ll go emo and quit before you get gkicked. Still, you do like the guy. Or did. Before he went crazy. See drunks, below.

The Raid Leader- When you stand in the flames, he dies a little bit inside.

The Positive officer- �That was great. Just great. You know, only 5% of guilds have even made it to Supremus, and getting him down to 67% on the second attempt is hawt.� See Stoners, below.

The Negative officer- �Jesus Christ why are there corpses under all these goddamn volcanoes? It�s Supremus for %@*@s�s sake. GET OUT OF THE GODDAMN FLAME!�

The Healing Officer- Has this job because, as the newest officer who plays a healer, he�s stuck with it.

The Guy Who Runs the Guild- He�s been here a long time. Like forever. He�s an officer if he accepted the position. He knows all the gossip and understands the politics. For the love of God, don�t make this guy decide that you are hurting the guild. The last GM did.

The Hunter Class Lead- Will tell you that it does actually require skill and preparation to play a hunter well in the end game. He lies frequently.

The Gay guy- Affects the gay accent for effect. Upgrade decisions tend to involve lengthy discussions about gear appearance. Learned to use the dressing room function before the �v�key.

The Stay At Home Mom- She�s around children all day and craves adult conversation. Babbles incessantly in vent, forgetting that adult conversation doesn�t usually begin with, �So I was talking to (insert name of four-year-old child) and he says�� May or may not be on speaking terms with spouse. Is muted on vent by 90% of the raid.

Mr. Mikeless- Has a microphone. Hears the conversation and directions. Once wiped the raid because he started talking most folks alt-tabbed to see who the hell was speaking. May be your best player.

The Kid- So, you messed up on this guy�s interview and nobody noticed that he was 12. But, he can play. And if he gets a little bit excited when boobies are getting talked about? Hey, he�s young.

The other kid- Remember that accountant you interviewed for the fury warrior position? And how you wondered how he�d make time to raid during tax season? He couldn�t. His eleven year old daughter took over about that time. She�s been raiding since. Mages� that�s an eleven year-old girl owning you night after night.

The Drunks- The core of your guild. As raid progresses, their voices in vent are getting just ever so slightly slurred. You don�t notice because you�re trying to sound sober yourself. DPS output seems to scale positively with blood alcohol content.

The Stoners- Quietly wiping raids since the beta. They really, really, really hate having to move out of the fire. Two of them are dead under the volcanoes. They live in fear of the negative officer. They have their own channel. Try /join (insertguildname)stoners. You�ll see who�s in there. It�ll explain a lot. They�re also having more fun that everyone else combined