Tenz
Suspended
A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit in the early hours of the morning. The Epicenter, Jaywick in Essex. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "fockin mentoe", "innit", and "cont". The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately Thirty Pounds worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementoes from the Balearics and Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair.
Three historic ares of burned out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Gyro's arrived. Essex News reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Jaywick. One resident - Tracy Smith, a 15 year old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock. My little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into the bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning"
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal. The Bitish Red Cross have managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight and half a ton of Sharps to the stricken area to assist the locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, jewelry from Elizabeth Duke (Argos) and Bone China from Pound Land.
How Can You Help? This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunates caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after. Items most needed include:- Filao baseball Caps - Kappa Tracksuit Tops (his and hers) - Shell Suits (female) - White Sports Socks - Rockport Boots and any other items sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include Microwave Meals, tins of Baked Beans, Ice Cream and cans of Colt45 or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms - �2.00 buys chips and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9 - �5.00 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected. Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of Posh Housing is unfair on the remainder of the surrounding population !!
Three historic ares of burned out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Gyro's arrived. Essex News reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Jaywick. One resident - Tracy Smith, a 15 year old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock. My little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into the bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning"
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal. The Bitish Red Cross have managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight and half a ton of Sharps to the stricken area to assist the locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, jewelry from Elizabeth Duke (Argos) and Bone China from Pound Land.
How Can You Help? This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunates caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after. Items most needed include:- Filao baseball Caps - Kappa Tracksuit Tops (his and hers) - Shell Suits (female) - White Sports Socks - Rockport Boots and any other items sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include Microwave Meals, tins of Baked Beans, Ice Cream and cans of Colt45 or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms - �2.00 buys chips and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9 - �5.00 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected. Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of Posh Housing is unfair on the remainder of the surrounding population !!
, like the rest of us.
