The fiver still happy to stick the knife in :
TO BE HONEST, WE'VE PHONED THIS ONE IN, BECAUSE WE'RE NOT SURE ANYBODY CARES ABOUT THE SHAMBLES THAT IS ENGLAND ANY MORE
Why everyone has suddenly started taking pops at Second-Choice Steve is beyond us. He might be a clown who's winging it and should never be allowed near Soho Square to hose down the folk sipping al fresco Tin on the green, never mind go into one of the buildings, sit at a big desk and pick a national football squad using a blindfold and a pin, but we knew all that when McCoco took over. Anyway, according to this morning's papers, the "deluded" eejit was due to be summoned to a pointless meeting with the FA, to face the gaggle of clueless galoots who gave the jester the job in the first place.
In it, McClaren would be required to tell the clueless galoots what the hell he's effing well up to - why he doesn't have the balls to drop Frank Lampard, why England are worse than Scotland for goodness sake, etc - without resorting to either his usual interview technique of grinning inanely like Ralph Wiggum ("Saturday's fun game was fun!") or the use of custard pies, funny flowers or long shoes.
Sadly for the four of you out there who still care passionately about England, that showdown didn't happen, and everything's much as it was. "It is very disappointing to see reports today that we have or will 'summon' [Second-Choice Steve] to explain himself to the International Committee," said a statement from the galoots. "At a time when we are giving our full support to Steve and the England team ahead of tomorrow night's game with Andorra, these stories are very unhelpful."
Meanwhile John Terry and Steven Gerrard held a press conference this afternoon. The main points of interest were as follows: